A different type of leap..

As a woman struggling with infertility it is inevitable, unless I live under a rock, that I will come into contact with pregnant women and young children on a daily basis.  Most days the mere sight of a pregnant woman triggers my jealousy and seeing a baby makes me long for the day when I have a sweet baby of my own.  Lately, I've been introduced to the idea of "leap lists".  A leap list is a list of things you would like to accomplish before the next big event in life occurs (weddings, babies, etc...)  The idea of a leap list seems like a fun way to accomplish certain goals before they get lost in life.  I don't really have a leap list, but thinking about the things I would like to accomplish makes me think of all the things I may be missing because I am too fixated on our infertility mess that we've found ourselves in.  So, I've decided, while my #1 goal is still to have a baby of my own a.s.a.p., I am going to enjoy my time with my husband.  I don't want to wish away our time together.  So, today I took my first step...

 We went to the zoo today!  I have, in the past, avoided places like the zoo because it is notoriously a place for young children.  I was afraid my jealousy would ruin our outing, but once I gave myself a little pep talk and focused on my time with Martin, we had a really great time.  Part of me feels almost guilty for enjoying myself so much today, I have spent the last 3 1/2 years focused on making our twosome a threesome... But mostly I feel blessed to have such a wonderful husband, and it makes me excited to bring our baby into a family so filled with love some day.