Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The Sound of Silence...

      I cannot tell you how many times I've heard "cherish the time you have without kids, you're house will never be quite again...".  When ever I hear someone say this I usually internally role my eyes and smile.  It was not until a recent visit to my best friends house that I experienced the sounds that a two year old can fill a house with- but here's the thing...  it was fabulous.  I know what you're thinking, and no I'm not delusional, but sitting here in my silent house has become a painful experience.  Those of you who are in the midst of raising your child you may be rolling your eyes at me, but the most saddening part about being back at my house after a week in toddler-world was the silence.  There is no shriek of excitement when I walk into a room, no banging on the coffee table, no toys gibbering incoherently, no partially comprehendable questions... there's nothing.   We've taken to playing music almost all of the time when we're home just to fill the space.  It's not that we don't talk, of course we do- honestly we're closer than ever, but it's not what we're looking for.  I feel like it's strange that the absence of something can contain so much heartache, and yet- day after day it's exactly that.

The good news is that we're slowly getting closer to our goal of being able to do a complete IVF cycle, so maybe that sweet noise isn't too far off after all...!