Saturday, August 25, 2012

A New View

A few weeks ago my husband went in for some more tests and we were surprised to hear that the Dr ordered an MRI.  Apparently they are concerned that there may be a growth on his pituitary gland that could be impacting his hormone levels - causing our infertility.  As relieved as I was that there might be a solution to our problem I was also overcome with the fear that there might be something wrong inside my husbands head.  I was shocked to realize that throughout all our tests it never even occurred to me that there might actually be something wrong with us, causing us not to be able to have children.  I feel ashamed that I didn't think of this sooner.  We are still waiting for the test results to come back, but I can honestly say that this has changed my outlook on this whole process.  I have been completely ignoring parts of my life, blinding myself to everything else aside from becoming a mother.  While I still dream of becoming a mother, I have become increasingly aware that I live a blessed life and should be thankful for the love I do have in my husband.  Infertility can tear your heart apart so it is important to focus on the good.